The dreamjob, snapping shots from the worlds fastest. Or is it? Our freaked out photographer has a little rant of the crappy side of his glam jetset life.

It’s way past my bedtime as I load the images from my last SD card onto my laptop. I’m tired, wet, smelly and hungry, but I keep going because the interwebs never sleep and the news has to get out as quickly as possible otherwise it’s no longer news. 

I have always wanted to be a professional photographer. Ever since I held a camera I dreamed of making money while creating art by capturing images. No, that's bs. To be honest, I just totally suck at riding a bike. I can’t jump for shit, nor corner or climb. I did like to hang out with my mates though. Every day after school, in the woods. So, I picked up a camera and started snapping away. 

Little did I know about this trade and its downsides. To make sure we snap the action, we’re out on the hill first thing. Finding a good spot is gold, and competition with other picture snappers is fierce these days. Once settled in a good spot, we hang around until the racers find time to do some practice runs. 

Usually they swoosh by, while we are getting eaten by mosquitos, ticks or small furry animals. None of them bother to walk back either, so we have extremely little opportunities to get the gold. 

Another thing that someone should have told me in advance, is the weight of the backpack you have to carry. 25kg doesn’t sound like much, but trust me after lugging a thing like that across slippy mountain trails all day, you’re knackered. 

The cost of it all is also eye watering. Body, back-up body, wide angle, fish-eye and telelens. I’ve had cars that cost less than one of these lenses, back in the day when I still could afford to own a car. 

“Hey wanna you do a photo report on our event? We'll even pay for your flight and accommodation for you!”  Sure thing mate, No problem at all giving away my time that I could spend making money away for free. “You can join the race yourself if you want to!” Uhhhm, racing with a 25kg backpack that costs a small fortune. No thanks. I’m sure you won’t replace it if I crash and smash my 70-200.

The best bit about this job is still the requests people email me. If I can’t give them some photos because it will get me great coverage. Newsflash. I can’t eat coverage. My landlord also doesn’t care much about coverage either. 

That is, if they bother emailing me at all to use my images. Some clowns out there just take a screenshot from the interwebs, crop out the watermark and slap it on there. One day. One day I will crack and publish all the names and companies who ever did that to me. For now I’ll stay anonymous though. I still need those people, I still have bills to pay.

By IMB

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