Smashed frames, cracked tubes and mangled parts, this guy has seen it all and desperately needs to let off steam after all the ‘Just riding along’ claims.

Work in the bike industry they said. It’ll be amazing, they said. Sure, who doesn’t like to start off his monday with 200 new ‘tickets’ to process?

Wait what? You don’t know what a ticket is? Don’t worry it’s nothing like a lottery ticket or a ticket to a concert or something. It’s basically an email with a complaint or warranty claim that needs to be replied to within 24 hours. Preferably with a solution so the customer doesn’t miss any time on the trails. 

Of course, where things get fabricated and assembled mistakes get made. Every person in the long chain of operations that turn an idea into a bicycle slips up sometimes. A bolt left untightened, a part specced that doesn’t work nicely with the others or even a weld that didn’t penetrate like it should have. If only it was just those situations to deal with, life would be peachy. 

But life is not peachy. In the warranty department you get to deal with a lot of weird crap. From the 7 pages of ‘ I’m an engineer and this item is not fit for purpose’ to the ‘this bike got damaged in transport and now I want an extra discount’ requests. But my favorite are the JRA’s, better known as Just Riding Along claims. 

Imagine an inbox filled with images of completely mangled front triangles, bent front wheels and forks and a note claiming the dude (m/f) definitely did not smash into a tree / rock or other immovable object. Just riding along to the trailhead and the frame just folded itself like a yogi. Sure buddy.  

What most people forget to realize is that I’m a rider too. I too have cased jumps (ask my lawyer) and I can tell the difference between a manufacturing error or impact damage. Just the shape of a cracked chainstay will tell me if there is a welding error or if your mom drove over your bike after you left it on the drive. 

I’m a bit of a Sherlock Holmes too. Sometimes when I am suspicious, I’ll scour the interwebs and instagrams, searching for your videos. They’ll show me if you’re a decent rider or for how long you’ve been attempting to nail those 360’s. Bikes are made for riding, and bailing 20+ times on a 8 foot jump sure doesn’t do your bike any good. 

Your pictures will also show me if you’ve been running those 220 units on a frame that’s made for 180mm discs or if that head tube got snapped off after you decided to build a DH hardtail with Boxxer forks. Yes, people really do that stuff. Just like they buy a M sized frame while they’re 192cm tall. Sure you can run a 420mm seatpost. It’ll be a matter of time before you snap the frame though. Ever heard of leverage?

The earlier mentioned engineer is also a classic. He (it’s always a he) claims to have a degree in engineering and will explain to you in detail that the 1000 pound bicycle he purchased is not fit for purpose. He spent all his savings on this awesome piece of equipment and after three months, the tires are worn out, the shifting is completely off and the brakes stopped working. Totally unacceptable! 

These guys always contact me directly too, as their local bike shop already tried to explain that the complaints are due to wear and tear. When asking some more questions I usually find out that this man decided to use this entry level bike for a 50 mile commute, 5 days a week. In the pissing rain of Scotland. 3000 miles in bad conditions WILL ruin your Acera groupset. 

I can go on and on with unbelievable stories of photoshopped cracks, the same frame being claimed multiple times or that one guy who managed to crack 5(!) frames and he was convinced his riding style (or lack thereof) had nothing to do with it. But I prefer to tell you about the really fun stuff. 

The warranty department does have its ‘feel good’ moments. For example, the rider who admitted that he crashed his bike into a rock. We were able to get a replacement frame to him for a ‘crash replacement’ price, shipped immediately and built by his local dealer before the weekend. His bike was fixed before his wounds were healed! 

Or the guy that had a 22 year old titanium top of the line hardtail with a fatigue crack in the top tube/seat tube area. Technically this is just wear and tear, but he had the original invoice in his name, ALL receipts of the yearly service and ALL the receipts of the replacement parts / upgrades. Of course any modern frame would not fit any of his old parts, so we offered a deal on a complete bike. Happy as Larry he was. 

I’ve been moaning quite a bit but I admit. It’s nice to be working in the industry. Surrounded by good people, staff discounts and at the end of the day 99% of the people are happy with the service I am offering. In the end I am making sure people go from ‘broken bike can’t ride’ to ‘fixed bike let’s hit the trails!’

 

By IMB

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